HOW OFTEN COUPLES SHOULD HAVE S3KS - ACCORDING TO THREE S3KS THERAPISTS

Sex therapists say quality is more important than quantity when it comes to sex.

The average American couple has sex about once a week.
However, sex therapists say that focusing on the quality of your sex life and the connection you have with a partner is more important than how often you have sex.
If you're unsatisfied with the amount of sex you and your partner are having, here's how you can improve your sex life.


Have you ever wondered if the amount of sex you're having is normal? It's completely natural to have insecurities around how much sex you and a partner engage in. But, it's important to keep in mind each relationship is different, with varying sexual needs.

More sex does not always equal a better relationship. Instead, focusing on the quality of sex, your connection with a partner, and what's best for your relationship can make your bond stronger.
How often should couples have sex?

There is no right answer for how often you should be having sex — only what feels right for your relationship or sex life.

A 2017 study published in Archives of Sexual Behavior studied the sexual behavior of just over 26,000 people from 1989 to 2014. It found that the average adult has sex 54 times a year, or an average of about once a week.


It also found that, for married couples, the number stayed almost the same — 51 times a year. However, the frequency changed depending on age: 20-somethings reported having sex around 80 times a year, whereas the number drops to 20 for 60-somethings. It's also important to note that "sex" is a broad term that encompasses many sexual acts. Therefore, definitions can vary from person to person.

Once a week may be the average, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the right amount of sex for all relationships. "I've worked with couples who would argue that once a week is too much, and others who would say it's not nearly enough," says Stefani Goerlich, a licensed master social worker and sex therapist. Each couple determines the amount of sex that's right for them to have — a number which may change as their relationship continues.

"While there can be 'too little' or 'too much' sex, it really is subjective and dependent on the couple," says Christene Lozano, a licensed marriage family and sex addiction therapist. She says some people will still feel satisfied even if they don't have sex for months. Instead of looking for a non-existent rule about how much sex you should be having, she says to focus on your sexual relationship and what it means to the both of you.
Factors that can impede on a healthy sex life

However, if you're unsatisfied with the amount of sex you and your partner are having, certain factors may be to blame. "Sex is a multi-dimensional experience. Good sex is mental, physical, and emotional," says Goerlich. Therefore, sex is influenced by one's mental and physical health.


Examples of outside factors impacting you or your partner's sex life include:
Stress — in general or about the relationship
Changes in the body due to aging and health issues
Falling into a routine that's become boring
Being busy with kids, family, or career
Not feeling comfortable communicating with each other
Not feeling seen or heard by your partner

"These different factors can also affect one another," says Lozano. For example, if your body changes for some reason, you may begin to develop a poor body image. Feeling uncomfortable in your body might lead you to withdraw sexually from a partner.