8 WAYS TO SHOW YOUR WIFE RESPECT

There’s been a lot of recent discussion about how “men need respect” and “women need love.” This view has gained more attention with the popular book, Love and Respect, by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. It’s a wonderful book and I wholeheartedly recommend it, but some people have missed the point of his book (and my previous post on 7 ways a husband needs respect from his wife) by thinking that men only need respect (not love) and women only need love (not respect).

Aretha Franklin belted the classic “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” and women worldwide sang along. The truth is that both men and women need respect (and love), but that need is manifested in different ways.

I’ve received some great insight from my amazing wife, Ashley and countless women through face-to-face and online interactions. Based on these interviews, my own observations and Biblical principles, I’m convinced that the list below sums up the primary ways a wife needs and desires respect from her husband.

Each marriage is unique (because each person is unique), so this list may not represent all people. The point of this post isn’t to squeeze everyone into the same mold, but rather, to stir up some meaningful dialogue between husbands and wives which will ultimately lead to stronger marriages.

8 ways a wife needs respect from her husband (in no particular order):
1. Have eyes only for her.



A man shows respect for his wife by never making her feel compared to an airbrushed supermodel or a random woman passing by. Men make their wives feel safe, adored and respected when their eyes are “monogamous.”
2. Support and encourage her dreams.



A man shows respect for his wife when her dreams become his priority. In little things in big things, men should encourage and support their wives to achieve their hopes and dreams.
3. Work hard to provide for the family.



When a man works hard, it communicates respect to his wife. A lazy man is incapable of communicating true respect to his wife (or anyone else).
4. Help out around the house.



Each household is different, but in the homes where the wife manages the domestic duties, the husband should still be willing to jump in and help out. Doing the dishes or folding laundry is a simple way to show respect to your wife.
5. Engage in conversation with her and listen when she is talking.



I believe the typical wife’s need for communication is every bit as strong as the typical husband’s need for sex. A husband shows respect to his wife when he turns off his phone, turns of the TV and engages in meaningful conversation and he ALWAYS tells her the truth. Dishonesty is the ultimate form of disrespect.
6. Make time with your wife a priority.



A man shows respect for his wife when he makes her a consistent priority on his calendar. A husband should give his best energies to his wife; not his leftovers after he has given his best to hobbies, career or other pursuits.
7. Continuously pursues her.



Most guys are great at pursuing during the dating phase of the relationship, but we get lazy, inconsistent and unromantic in marriage. We show our love and respect to our wives when we continuously give them the best of ourselves and keep growing better with every season of life together.
8. Never give up on her!



Love means believing in someone even when they struggle to believe in themselves. Do this for your wife. Bring out the best in her. Build her up through your words, your actions and your respect. Let her know that your commitment to her and your love for her is unconditional and unshakeable. That will give her the confidence to take on the world knowing you always have her back!



The book Love and Respect suggests that women are interested, primarily, in looking to their husbands for love. And for men, the bottom line involves the desire (from their wives) for respect. Even though such a hypothesis involves generalizations, there’s a lot of truth to the over-arching idea. It’s a theory that goes a long way towards explaining the desperate lengths and compromises made by women and men looking for both love and respect.

As All Pro Dads, it’s critically important that we approach the respect challenge with some careful thought. So, up front, let’s consider a couple of points: First, respect cannot be demanded. You will always be disappointed. Just like the coach who yells and intimidates, threats and coercion are always lose-lose. Respect is earned. Next, understand that fear and respect are not the same thing. Now that the preliminaries are out of the way, here are 7 ways to earn your wife’s respect.
1. Treat her with respect.

Make sure your wife knows how much you value and appreciate her. Don’t take a chance on this. Express it often. Take a look at this All Pro Dad Article for tips on how to Tune In To Your Wife.
2. Never demand respect.

When we raise our voice, berate, bully, and otherwise posture or attempt to coerce respect, then we’re moving in exactly the wrong direction.
3. Be a servant-leader in your home.

When men demonstrate humility, grace, and mercy at home, the strength of character that defines them as servant-leaders commands the kind of respect that is rooted in love and appreciation.
4. Consistently put other people first, including her.

Leaders who act like they are the most important person in the room get both obedience and rebellion. But leaders who put others first tend to be followed and loved. Are you putting her first?
5. Always follow through on your promises.

One indicator of integrity is a consistent level of follow-through when it comes to keeping promises. And a byproduct of integrity is respect. If your wife knows where you stand, and she can expect you to follow-through, then respect is part of the package.
6. Volunteer in the community.

Help organize a neighborhood cleanup, become active in the PTA, join a team at church, help out with your kids’ sports teams. Take consistent time and trouble to lift others up.
7. Carry your weight around the house.

Quietly, yet consistently, be a more visible, viable, and valuable member of your own household. That might mean taking responsibility for the kids’ homework, staying on top of the laundry backlog, being a leader in terms of respecting on-time dinner, organizing cleanup every other day, or being “chores king” every Saturday. The possibilities are endless, but the principle is the same.When men demonstrate humility, grace, and mercy at home, the strength of character that defines them as servant-leaders commands the kind of respect that is rooted in love and appreciation.